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The Black Sun Presents....

The Night the Townspeople Struck Back

...The story of a beige box expedition gone horribly wrong.

  Awhile back, a friend of mine, Lord Pyrotech, and I were on 
a nice beige box session in the small town about a quarter 
mile from my house.  We took the side of the shitty country 
road, where there was plenty of cover.  A little ways to town, 
we heard a truck coming.  We both hit the deck in only half 
decent cover.  We were both in camo so it wasn't likely that 
we were spotted. (especially since the odds of the bastard 
being drunk were very high)  

  We continued on to the town, and slipped inside.  We were 
making our way to the best can in town.  All was peachy, until 
I made a mistake that cost us the night.  I found an 
unlocked minivan.  I said, "why not?" and opened the door.  
I forgot about the fucking door light!  It flipped on, and 
I panicked and tried to close the door tight enough to get 
the light off, but not hard enough to make a big sound.  I 
failed.  After a couple tries, I got the door close with a 
nice loud "crack."  

  We hurried around the to the side garage, deciding our next 
move, when the porchlight of the house of the van I opened goes 
on.  We ran literally 2 blocks and hit the deck.  Through 
binoculars we watched a large dog pace back and forth in the 
yard of the "Van House."  The large dog really wasn't anything 
unusual.  That town has more dogs than people, and many are 
quite large.  Boxers, Great Danes, Rotwilers, Dobermans- you 
name it, that town has at least one.  

  After spying on the house through the binocs for awhile, we 
decided to chill behind a house for awhile to let things 
settle down.  Here my memory becomes a little fuzzy.  I 
remember running to a differnt house for cover, and realizing 
that right after we'd left, the porch light of the last house 
had gone on.  The same thing happened after we left the next 
house.  After several more of the same instances, we found 
ourselves on the edge of town, staring in.  Every house in 
sight's porch lights were on, and I saw a person actually 
outside looking around.  It was not cool.  

  My friend and I were fucking dumbfounded.  I mean you don't 
know how thickly populated with moron hicks this town is.  
And yet, they seemed to PLAY with us.  Everything was timed 
perfectly to corner us.  We just sat there in the shadows.  
Half the town was awake, and just about every dog was barking 
like crazy.  We hadn't even beiged yet. 
  Observing this scene, we decided that there was only one 
acceptable COA.  To get our poor white asses out of that place 
before some fucking redneck with a double barrel shotgun 
found us.  We treked accross a barren field a quarter mile, 
and came to the treeline on the other side.  This is when I 
knew something HAD to be up.  The most direct escape route for 
us was blocked by someone with a flashlight. 
  I still don't know who the fuck it was.  I'd like to find 
out.  I don't think he saw us, but I'd really like to know 
what the hell he was doing in the middle of nowhere at 2 
o'clock in the morning with a fucking flashlight scanning the 
horizen.  I mean, that doesn't happen in hicksville.  About 
this time, Pyro and I were getting freaked.  This was the 
kicker.  Upon the realization that there was a moron with a 
flashlight in our direct path, we jumped into the treeline.  
For those of you who don't know, a treeline divides 2 fields 
and it generally overgrown with wild bushes and weeds.  We 
spied on that dirty bastard for awhile, and then crossed the 
treeline, and took a longer route to homebase.  

  There... we looked for my little brother.  We couldn't find 
him.  My parents were asleep, so we had to be quiet to look for 
him, and we couldn't turn on any lights.  Pyro and I seached 
the entire house, and didn't find him.  He'd begged to come 
along phreaking with us, but I told him no.  He didn't seem to 
be in the house, so we checked the main exit/escape route.  He 
wasn't there either.  Only place left... was that hell hole 
some people call a town.  

  Being the wonderful brother I was, I went into town after 
him-- alone.  Lord Pyrotech covered the escape route while I 
busted ass into town.  I was pissed off.  It made sense.  My 
fucking brother had woken up all the people.  He was probally 
the one I saw walking around.  I got into town... and it was 
dead.  Not even dead.  FUCKING dead.  Nothing going on. Even the 
fucking dogs were quiet.
  I ran around awhile, and realized looking for him was futile.  
Almost took a JULIE sign, but it was a cheap one and I already 
had several of that year(1993).  It was also on a main state 
road, and it had a dusk to dawn light shining directly from 
above, so I decided that it wasn't worth it.  I busted back home, 
having to crouch in the field on a couple occasions due to 
traffic. (You would be suprised how much traffic there is at 
2:30 AM-- I sure as fuck was)  I finally made my way back home, 
and began to seach inside with pyro for the little shit, to find 
him asleep on the floor in the living room.

  I woke his ass up, and interrogated him about a possible 
journey into town.  He said Fuck no! I'm not that stupid.  He 
wasn't lying either.  So much for that theory.  

  Pyro and I went to the basement to get ready for sleep.  We failed.

Theories on how the fuck this happened:

1) Pure Coincidence- All the neigbors mysteriously woke up and turned 
on their lights for no reason.  Maybe just to let irtate dogs out.

2) The entire town shares a collective intelligence (somewhat similar 
to the Body Snatchers) and when we alerted one, the rest of the town 
became aware.

3) Aliens- need I say more?

4) CIA(NSA?)- A secret government agency is working out of the town.  
They've been watching our illegal operations with mild amusment, and 
decided to play with us.

5) The Hillbilly Trap- The town knew we were coming, and set a trap.  
They decided to play with us, and hoped to discourage us from 

(To me, the most realistic answer strangly seems to be #4)

Well that's it.  Hope you enjoyed it.  I'm going to say right now, 
that NONE of this was made up.  Everything from this story is true.  
100%  Don't believe it? TS babe, TS.  Want to flame me about this 
story? Email me at  Want to compliment me on 
this story? Email me at  I must warn you though: 
If I want to, I WILL post your email on my web page. (I don't have 
a host yet, but that will change soon enough)  However, if you want 
to check out good ole pyrotech's site, punch in .  

Happy Phreaking, and PLA 4 ever.

2nd version July 26, 1999, 9:43 PM By The Black Sun